GOTHMAXXING
ONE DAY WHEN I WAS A CHILD I STARTED SEEING STALKERS GATHERING AT THE FENCE OUTSIDE MY WINDOW.
MY MOM WAS PUTTING HALLOWEEN CANDY OUT FOR THEM
WHICH WAS INSANE, I REMEMBER THINKING I’VE NEVER SEEN A VIDEO OF A MOM ACTING LIKE THIS
BUT SHE WAS LIKE “JUST SHUT YOUR BLINDS.”
“IT’S A GOOD SIGN”
“IT MEANS YOU’RE GOING TO BE FAMOUS.”
SHE WAS RIGHT.
BUT THAT’S STILL LIKE TRAUMATIZING
YEAH I KEPT CALLING THE COPS ON THEM
AND SOMETIMES THEY’D STAY FOR LIKE 12 HOURS
I ASKED MY MOM TO HIRE A DETAIL AND SHE WAS LIKE “WE HAVE DRONES”
“THAT’S THE FURTHEST I’M GOING TO MILITARIZE THE HOUSE”
“I WILL NOT HIDE THE WORLD FROM YOU”
MOM WANTED US AVAILABLE
SHE WANTED THE ATTENTION TO FEEL ROUTINE
SHE SAID A REAL LIFE ONLY CAME TO THOSE WHO COULD TOLERATE BEING SEEN
FOR MY BIRTHDAY SHE BOUGHT ME A TELESCOPE
AND TOLD ME TO LOOK AT THEIR FACES
“THOSE ARE YOUR FANS.”
“YOU WILL HAVE TO DECIDE”
“WHAT THEY CAN SEE”
“AND WHAT THEY CAN’T”
STALKERS WILL STAY IN ONE PLACE FOR HOURS
HOPING FOR A GLIMPSE
“AS MY SON”
“YOUR LIFE WILL BE DETERMINED”
“BY WHAT YOU DECIDE TO SHOW THEM”
I PERMANENTLY SHUT MY BLINDS
FOR YEARS
STILL I WOULD ASSUME I WAS BEING WATCHED
I COULD FEEL THEIR GAZE
THROUGH THE WALLS
MY MOM SAID YOU HAVE TO RESIST THIS
“IT’S YOUR PHONE”
“IF YOU WANT THE FEAR TO END, YOU GOT TO PUT IT DOWN”
“THE INTERNET WOULD HAVE YOU BELIEVE THAT WE ARE LIVING IN A PANOPTICON”
THERE WERE ALWAYS PEOPLE OUTSIDE THE HOUSE TRYING TO SEE
WHAT WE WERE DOING
BUT I WANT TO EMPHASIZE
WE HAD PRIVACY
WE HAD PLACES WE COULD GO WHERE NOBODY COULD SEE
BUT ME AND MY SISTER
AS WE GOT OLDER
THE FANS
YOU CAN TORTURE THEM
IT’S FUN TO TORTURE THEM A BIT
MY MOM WOULD PUT THE CHRISTMAS TREE IN THE FRONT ATRIUM
THAT AREA OF THE HOUSE WITH THE MOST VISIBILITY FROM THE OUTSIED
AND PEOPLE WOULD BRING THEIR FAMILIES
SHE WOULD GET SO EXCITED
FOR EVERYONE TO SEE WHAT SHE BOUGHT US
SHE MADE US BOTH
GIVE SPEECHES
MY SISTER LECTURED ON THE IMPORTANCE OF GOOD CREDIT
“THERE IS NO CEILING
TO WHAT YOU CAN ACHIEVE”
I AM GRATEFUL FOR EVERYTHING MY MOM DID FOR ME
SHE’S MY HERO FOR SURE
DIDN’T YOU USED TO SAY
SHE TRAUMATIZED YOU
DO YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE TRAUMATIZING
FOR ME?
WALKING INTO DINING ESTABLISHMENT
AND HAVING NO ONE ASK ME FOR A PIC
🔥
MAYBE THEN I FEEL ALL THIS TRAUMA
DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH OF BLESSING IT IS
THAT MILLIONS OF PEOPLE
ARE CURRENTLY CUMMING TO ME?
OK NOT A MILLION
BUT THOUSANDS 🫥
1000 SIMULTANEOUS ORGASMS ARE HAPPENING TO IMAGES OF MY 25 YEAR OLD BODY EVERY SECOND
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH YOUR LIFE?
READ HER MEMOIR IT’S TRUE
HER MOM WAS INSANE
ALL OUR MOMS WERE INSANE
SHE TALKS ABOUT HOW EXCITED HER MOM BECAME LIKE HOW IS YOUR MOM EXCITED ABOUT GROSS MEN HANGING OUTSIDE YOUR WINDOW WHAT
THAT’S WHAT DISTURBED ME MOST ABOUT HER LIKE
LIFE
LOOK
MY MOM WAS NOT TRYING TO RAISE A WELL ROUNDED INDIVIDUAL
SHE WAS TRYING TO RAISE
SOMEBODY WHO MATTERS
DO YOU NOW WISH YOU HAD A DIFFERENT UPBRINGING
YEAH WHO DOESN’T
BUT I’M NOT WEAK
WHEN I DON’T WANT TO GO OUTSIDE BECAUSE OF THE FANS
WHEN I LOOK OUT MY WINDOW AND HOPE I CATCH THE PAP SO I CAN USE MY GUN
COMING AT ME WITH YOUR PHONE OUT
IF YOU ARE LOOKING TO GET TO KNOW ME, THIS IS A VERY POOR WAY OF GOING ABOUT IT
MY PHONE WAS ON SOS
FOR YEARS
RIP 🙏 TO THE MAGELLAN TWINS
KILLED BY THEIR OWN MOTHER
AFTER A MONTHS LONG PERIOD OF ESTRANGEMENT
YOU WILL NEVER KNOW
WHAT IT’S LIKE
TO EXIST
WITHOUT ME
👁️
GOTHMAXXING
BY (Q_!)